feeling refreshed?
the dreams i had were awaken by cries.. cries tt shook my senses like a earthquake rumbling from my very soul..were they pleas for help or were they an act of desperation - more importantly, its disturbing, dark and infused with confusion coz if religiosity was of any good in the first place.. it should place one's mind at rest instead of destablising it, rest assured i am not not anti religion but how devotion in its myriad forms - overwheming, over fanatic, over zealous seems to create the foundation of insanity freaks me out - we all know , buildings with frail foundations tumble in a matter of time no matter how fancy the exterior is, no matter how sophisticated the inhabitants are, no matter how conducive the environment is, one good blow n u're gone~ period!
life challenges us in a gazillion angles, how u tackle them, how u make yr own calls, how u decide what's best, how u decide its opportunity cost, who to please, who to hurt, curiously, how u please the one who hurts u- are we really that dumb?
haha, i laugh at people's miseries, i snicker at the thought of self sacrificing noble acts, i sneer at "nice" people. i denounce kindness. but but but, there's always a but n it makes a butt out of me, i don't like that but i can't help it. There's something, something vague, gray,formless, a halo of circling smoke.. it slowly grips me from within, coiling, slithers.. contort my my very essence.. makes me nice to a "mean" person.. mean here doesn't neccessarily the person is a complete ass / slut. it means thatperson is not nice to me.. yes, all u out there who fall in that category are "mean" asses.. its my preception anyway :)
i behave entirely different, i c myself in the mirror n i dun even recognise myself, i see a guy with hair so neatly combed, manners so immaculate , teeth so straight, aiya.. lemme cut the crap, i see a nerd of a mean person~ gasp gasp horror horror.. so what's wrong with me?
i fell for someone who has yet to trip n fall for me, i think i stand a chance and all she did was stood up on me :) i question my charm~ charmless compared to her hamsters :( when u cannot control yr own emotions, when u lose control of what goes on in yr head, don't u think i have just displayed the crucial symptoms one experince in drug abuse? the thing is, i have allergies n its not even to drugs.. its a reaction against myself when i know that no matter what i do, nothin gets acomplised.. its hopeless.. so nice to dwell in a black hole. u dun even know when to start or end.. yay! should i just tell her to screw herself or should i continue to be the idiot- be nice to someone who deosn't reciprocate or even bother the least bit.
stay tune to find out more
in the next episode of ARE U DUMB?
posted by ruffmeowz @ 7:12 PM
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